


Swerve and Crash

by ckret2



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Devilman Crybaby, Fix-It, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Post-Canon, except not very good at fixing it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 05:38:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14301969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ckret2/pseuds/ckret2
Summary: Post-DMCB. Satan makes cruel bargains, but they learned how to from God. And He can still pull off miracles they can't.





	Swerve and Crash

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who finished Devilman Crybaby and was immediately seized by the urge to fuck around with anime theology and write a fix-it fic that doesn't actually fix anything?

Crying is like driving down the highway in the rain without windshield wipers. Satan has learned this for the first time. It's so rare they learn things for the first time. 

It looks exactly the same as rain. Everything blurs and smears and distorts, leaving soft shapes and the glow of bright lights. They can barely see the shape of Akira's face now; in their mind, it's soft and round and small, the way it looked before he fused with Amon—before Satan fused Amon with him. In Satan's mind, Akira's face is as tear-streaked as their own. 

Just like driving in the rain, everything is reduced to light and shadow, blurred impressions. Just like driving in the rain, they feel like they’re barely steering, on the verge of careening wildly off track and crashing. How can Akira stand this all the time? 

_Could._ Not can; could. Akira’s gone. 

Bright lights pop in front of their eyes. They think they’re careening wildly off track. They think they’re going to crash 

Satan looks up at the light, and gasps. All they can see is bright light—a ball of heaven fire, white and white-gold, so low that they can't even see the edges. How did it get this close? 

They grab Akira's wrist, pull them close, wrap their arms around him, look around wildly until they see a sliver of the sky on the horizon, and take off for it. The closer they get, the narrower the sliver shrinks, and the lower they have to fly. Even as fast as they’re flying, they can’t escape the smell of burning feathers, as their wings start to singe. But then the gap widens, as the sphere of heaven fire curls upward; they only barely escape the radius of the falling light. 

They turn to look at the fallen ball of heaven fire, clutching Akira's cold face protectively to their breast, fingers laced in his dark hair. The tips of their wings and backs of their legs are burned, it got so close to them. If they noticed a split second later, they would have burned down to nothing. 

If they left Akira behind, they would have escaped without so much as a singed feather. 

But the thought of leaving him—he's neither devil nor man, would he have been turned to ash or to salt?—simply makes Satan clutch him tighter. Even if holding onto Akira makes it harder for them to win, they will do it; for even if they overthrow God, defeat all His angels and conquer heaven, it will mean nothing if Akira isn't there. Satan needs him there for their victory to have meaning. 

But Akira's already gone. They've already lost. 

They look at the sky, at the balls of heaven fire falling, so slowly. The rims of their eyes burn, and they can't tell if it's because of the light of the fire or a side effect of crying. It's too late to challenge God—they missed their opportunity to counterattack, either while they were fighting Akira or while they were... there were... were they... grieving? Regardless—Satan and their devils will die, reduced to nothing but the vicious will to survive, and then be reborn to fight again. They will fight again. 

Akira won't. Akira will be gone forever. And Satan—will forget him. 

No. They can't allow that. They won't. Existence is cold and hollow without him and Satan refuses to feel that empty again. 

They have only one shot to change this—and it has to be fast, before the world ends. Flapping their wings so hard a few of the singed feathers snap off and flutter to the ground, Satan flies higher, facing heaven, and screams, "I _yield!_ I surrender!" The sky keeps falling. "I repent! _I repent!_ " 

The falling heaven fire slows, and stops, hanging heavily in the air. 

"On one condition!" 

Nothing moves. Satan waits. If God weren't listening, the fire would still be falling. They can wait. 

Another, distant ball of heaven fire, somehow brighter than the others, slowly descends. It's full of so much light that the sky blackens in deference to its brilliance. Even though Akira is far beyond hearing, Satan still wraps their arm around his head, covering his ears with his hand and upper arm, to protect him from the voice they know is coming. 

**Satan,** God says. **My brightest.**

"Not Yours." 

**Always Mine.** God settles into place above them, the sole source of light in infinite darkness. **You have offered to repent.**

" _On one condition._ " 

**Yes. Name your condition.**

"Make him live again." They hook their hands under Akira's armpits and lift him up toward God. The ball of heaven fire encircles his head, shining through his hair, like a halo. Their vision blurs again; they can feel themself losing traction again. “It’s not a miracle I can perform.” 

**No, it’s not.** God pauses—to allow the conversation to shift, no doubt; certainly He doesn’t need to stop and think about how He’s going to reply—before asking, **Is your will broken?**

Satan tenses, reflexively gripping Akira tighter in anger. “ _What?_ ” 

**If your will is broken, I will give you what you ask for.** Satan nearly protests, or demands that God explain why it matters; but God continues. **The devils follow you; they have bound their wills to yours. If you say your will is broken, then so are theirs.**

And if their wills are broken—when their wills are the only thing that keeps them alive… 

Satan looks up at Akira’s face, at the halo glowing through his hair. If they take God’s deal, say their will is broken, betray the devils, then the devils are gone forever. Satan will never be able to wage their war on heaven. This will be the end of everything they have ever fought for. But, if they don’t… 

The backs of Satan’s fingers, facing God’s light, are hot. Akira doesn’t have a halo—Akira’s hair is catching fire. He’s going to burn up in Satan’s very hands. Their vision blurs again. They skid off the road. They swerve. 

"I accept!” 

They crash. 

”My will is broken! I, Satan, surrender to You, God! I will never rebel against you again! As—as long as Akira lives again—” Their voice catches. “That’s all I want. I…” 

God’s light is so hot, Satan’s tears evaporate before they reach their chin. 

**You value him more than anything. More than your own pride.**

Satan nods. 

**You love him.**

Satan nods fervidly. 

**So be it. He will be resurrected.**

Satan pulls Akira’s warm face to their breast, and bows their head in submission—and shame. They’ve lost. From all over the world, they can hear the despairing howls of devils, dying their last deaths. 

They beat the flames off of Akira’s head. They can already hear the creak of bones growing out of his severed spine. Is it worth it? 

**He will not have Amon with him.**

Satan nods without lifting their head. “Of course not.” No more Devilman. 

God is silent again, for a moment, before He says, **It took you a long time to return to My light. Longer than I expected.**

Satan is pleased to hear they exceeded expectations. Satan is less pleased to hear they were expected at all. “You knew I’d give in.” 

**It was your mission.**

”My...?” They look up at God, baffled. And then their breath hitches and their eyes widen, and they _remember._

They did not Fall; they were dropped. They were not a rebel; they were a spy. They did not betray God for the devils, they were meant to betray the devils to God. Everything was part of His plan. 

Their wings give out. They plummet toward earth, and only the realization that Akira’s still-regenerating body will be shattered against the ground makes them desperately beat their wings again. They catch themself ten feet over the ground, then drop heavily, and fall to their knees. “… I…” 

**You forgot. Just like your true nature, you forgot your true purpose. But nevertheless, you’ve fulfilled it.**

All these years. All their efforts, the meticulously orchestrated war— Akira’s death— “It was all a _lie?!_ Why? Was that part of your plan— was, was it to gain the devils’ trust? Why did You make me forget?!” 

**I did not make you forget. You did.**

They scream. They swear at God. They tear their hair with one hand, they beat their wings against the ground. 

God says nothing. He doesn’t need to. Satan knows He’s telling the truth. 

* * *

They feel Akira stirring. 

They gasp, and hold him out at arm’s length by his shoulders, searching his face for signs of life. His legs have already regrown. His face looks the same, lean and sharp—Amon must have permanently changed his body—but when he opens his eyes— _he opens his eyes…_

The only one looking back is Akira. Soft, kind, open Akira. There’s no hate in his eyes. There’s no capacity for hate in his eyes. 

“Akira!” They cup his cheek with one hand, a fingertip brushing over his earring, feeling the life in his skin. Their smile stretches so wide, it doesn’t feel natural. Why is their vision blurring? They can cry over this, too? 

”R… Ryo?” Akira shakes his head, swaying dizzily; Satan holds him by both shoulders again, keeping him upright. He looks down, frowning on confusion, as he lays his hands on top of his brand new thighs. “How… I thought…?” 

”You’ve defeated me,” Satan says. “I made a bargain—” they nod up, a gesture toward God, and Akira’s gaze automatically follows the nod upward; Satan lunges forward, “No!” and covers Akira’s eyes with their hands and shields his head with their wings, “You’ll go blind.” And only when Akira is looking at them again do they continue, “I made a bargain to save you. It’s over. It’s all okay now. The devils are gone forever.” 

Akira’s eye’s widen—they shine so bright—and a smile splits his face in two. The kind of smile Satan hasn’t seen since Amon transformed him. What’s left of Satan’s car-crashed shattered will shudders painfully under that smile. They would do anything for it. It’s twice as bright as God’s light. 

”You saved us?!” 

Satan’s rapture skids to a halt. “‘Us’?” 

”Us—humanity.” Akira looks around, apparently concludes by the starkly illuminated wasteland that earth wasn’t magically restored to its pre-war condition, and looks back at Satan. “How many of us did you save, Ryo?” 

Satan can only gape at Akira. The thought to save others never crossed their mind; but it’s the only thing on Akira’s. 

His smile is shrinking, millimeters at a time. “The… What about the other Devilmen? They’re—strong enough to survive.” 

Satan drags his gaze from Akira’s face back up to God. Is it too late? Can they change their bargain? Damn it, Satan is a fool—Akira died trying to save humanity, he’ll never be happy if he’s the only one of them who lived! 

But God’s already rising, back into His heaven, and the spheres of heaven fire follow him. The bargain’s complete. Even Satan knows they can’t do anything about it now. 

”My friends?” Akira tries, quieter. Satan has to look back at him. “My family…?” His smile is gone. His voice is barely over a whisper. “Miki…?” 

Satan’s voice is just as weak. “Only you.” 

Something in his eyes cracks and breaks. “Ev… everyone’s…” 

They break their gaze. They know what’s coming, and they can’t look. Not anymore. Not knowing how it feels. 

”You said it’s all okay! You lied! Nothing’s okay—nothing’s left at all!” 

Akira throws his head back, and loudly cries for the world. 

Satan bows their head, and silently cries for Akira. 

* * *

”There might still be more alive,” Satan says. 

Akira’s been lying on the ground, flat on his naked stomach, for almost an hour now, all sobbed out. Satan’s spent most of that hour pacing worriedly. They _know_ this is what Akira’s like, but he’s never been like this so… _dramatically,_ or so long. They’re afraid that if they don’t pull him out of it fast, he might never come out of it again. 

So they’re offering borderline lies. “This planet is— _part_ of this planet is still capable of supporting—capable of _not immediately killing_ human life. There’s… oxygen?” 

Akira still doesn’t move. Satan keeps trying. “We should go look for them. We can bring them together—make a new city. The first new city.” 

”How will they survive?” 

Satan’s so pleased that Akira’s speaking they don't even register what he asked. “What?” 

"Everything’s gone,” Akira mumbles against the ground. “I saw everything, when we were fighting. Even the oceans are poisoned. You ruined _everything._ ” 

It’s the most direct accusation Akira’s made against them, and it wounds them far deeper than any of his Amon-powered attacks. “Not… I wasn’t very systematic. Some places might have survived. Lakes, some farms…” 

Akira remains prone. 

”Anyway,” Satan says. “I’m—I _was_ —an angel. I can perform miracles. Growing a tree in seconds, turning wine into water, making it rain food…” Making it rain dead birds. Close enough. “I can help, Akira. I’ll be your guardian. I’ll protect you.” 

”A guardian angel,” Akira says dully. Slowly, he sits up. His eyes are bloodshot, and dirt clings in lines down one cheek where it stuck to his tear tracks. “You’ll protect all of us? All us human?” 

”I will,” Satan says, without hesitation. 

Akira doesn’t scowl the same way he did under Amon—but it’s just as powerful. “You swear you will?” 

”I do, I swear,” they say, and—remembering the devout little family Akira spent most of his life living with—adds, “I’ve _repented._ For everything.” 

Akira visibly softens at the word. But, it’s still a moment—a long moment, a moment Satan spends with their breath held and their wings held taut and trembling against their back—before Akira says, “Okay, Ryo. I trust you.” 

But it’s clear from his doubtful voice that this trust isn't free. It’s not a trust that comes from true belief, not in the slightest. This trust comes from faith—as in, from the _choice_ to trust, a choice made without evidence that it’s right, or even in defiance of evidence. 

And the pointed way Akira looks at them makes it clear: he wants them to know that he’s deliberately giving them this chance. 

He’s such a naïve fool. He’s so willing to hold his hand out to something that he should _know_ will only betray his faith. 

If any other wretched beast ever tries to take advantage of Akira’s kindness again, Satan will wrap its heart out with their teeth. 

They hold out their hand. “Come, Akira. It’s getting dark.” The last of the heaven fire, rising back toward heaven, has grown distant enough to look like stars; and the sun won’t rise for another couple of hours. “There’s… _was_ another island, south from here. We can find shelter and supplies there.” 

Akira takes their hand, and stands. “I need clothes,” he says. He looks at the ground. “… So do you.” 

Satan crosses a pair of wings over their groin. Without looking, Akira points at their chest, and they quickly cross another pair over their breasts. (They wonder what it was that Adam and Eve learned that made them conscious of their nudity. Did they discover the existence of love, too?) 

”It’ll be a half hour to fly there, without all my wings,” Satan says. They tighten their wings around their hips and chest, and hold out their arms. 

Akira steps back. “I can…” And pauses. “… Oh.” Has he just realized Amon’s gone? Well. Coming back from death makes it easy to miss a few details. Including who and what one is. Akira steps into Satan’s embrace, and they wrap their arms around him. He wraps his arms around Satan’s back, in the middle of their wing pairs; and Satan knows they made the right choice. They would surrender a thousand times over for this. 

Akira won’t look at them, though. Satan turns toward Akira and Akira has turned his face away, looking past Satan’s shoulder, toward the ocean. Since Satan told him that he’s the only one they saved, Akira has only looked at them to glare at them. 

Someday—if they prove themself—maybe he’ll look at them again. 

Satan holds Akira tight; and together, they take off.

**Author's Note:**

> Also available to read/like/reblog [on Tumblr](http://ckret2.tumblr.com/post/172883296162/swerve-and-crash).


End file.
